God Uses Broken Things

Vance Havner says: God uses broken things. It takes broken soil to produce a crop, broken clouds to give rain, broken grain to give bread, broken bread to give strength. It is the broken alabaster box that gives forth perfume… God uses mightily those who have been hurt deeply and in this aspect, brokenness is a great blessing.

Source: http://franciskong.com/

I got this while browsing through Facebook. :) it might be helpful to follow these on your path to happiness. :)

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15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy

Here is a list of 15 things which, if you give up on them, will make your life a lot easier and much, much happier. We hold on to so many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress and suffering – and instead of letting them all go, instead of allowing ourselves to be stress free and happy – we cling on to them. Not anymore. Starting today we will give up on all those things that no longer serve us, and we will embrace change. Ready? Here we go:

1. Give up your need to always be right. There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?”Wayne Dyer. What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?

2. Give up your need for control. Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.

“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.” Lao Tzu

3. Give up on blame. Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.

4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk. Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.

“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.” Eckhart Tolle

5. Give up your limiting beliefs about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!

“A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind” Elly Roselle

6. Give up complaining. Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaany things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.

7. Give up the luxury of criticism. Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.

8. Give up your need to impress others. Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take of all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.

9. Give up your resistance to change. Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it.
“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls” Joseph Campbell

10. Give up labels. Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open. “The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.” Wayne Dyer

11. Give up on your fears. Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place.
“The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.” Franklin D. Roosevelt

12. Give up your excuses. Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real.

13. Give up the past. I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.

14. Give up attachment. This is a concept that, for most of us is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too, (it still is) but it’s not something impossible. You get better and better at with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another,  attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words.

15. Give up living your life to other people’s expectations. Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves.  You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.

Source: Purpose Fairy

of wanting to move on

its been almost 2 months...since we broke up. 

today, i am partly sad, angry, relieved, happy, at peace, indifferent. i guess it depends on which side of the bed i wake up for the day.

although generally, im great most days knowing that this is a choice i made. but there are days when i still wonder, is this part of a bigger plan?is this how its really meant to be?

i guess it has been a habit of mine to wait and see and in most cases not to let things go too easily (for they may be just lost for now but eventually will be back), it's not a very good habit i might say.

for while looking back may be good, most of the time though, we may miss the good opportunity that is right in front of us.

there's a window of opportunity knocking now...but i'm afraid to answer. because i dont really know what will happen next should i take the leap. so many what ifs.

but then again...what if?

camera

nanaginip ako kanina. as usual, nagkukuha ako ng litrato para sa isang exhibit opening. bagong gallery yung pinuntahan ko. malaki siya. may kwarto kung saan nakasabit ang mga gawa ng artists. meron din hiwalay na kwarto kung saan magtatanghal ng performance art.

tapos na akong magkuha ng litrato ng mga gawang nakasabit kaya minabuti ko ng dumako kung saan nagaganap ang performance. pero para magawa ko iyon, kailangang tumawid sa isang pond. nasa kabilang dulo kasi ng building yun kwarto.

maganda yung pond. malaki siya. puno ng iba't ibang laki ng bato at malalagong halaman. para kang nasa ibang lugar habang tumatawid sa bridge.

kalagitnaan ng pagtawid, natisod ako at nabitawan ko ang aking camera. hindi nakasukbit sa leeg ang strap kaya nalaglag ito sa mga batuhan. naiyak agad ako. marami agad akong naisip. naisip ko na malamang nahulog na ito sa tubig. o kung hindi man, nawasak na ito dahil malamang tumama sa mga bato. ang mahal pa naman bumili ng bago at hindi man lang ako nakatapos pa sa pagkuha sa araw na ito.

pagsilip ko, nasa batuhan ang camera.

hiwa-hiwalay.

yung body.

yung flash.

yung battery. (akalain mo, may battery grip ako pero sa totoong buhay wala naman.)

pinulot ko yung body at battery. kinabit at ininspeksyon. buhay pa! nagpasalamat ako sa Diyos. inabot ko yun flash na nakapatong sa dulo ng isang malaking bato. medyo malayo. inabot ko pa ng konti pero sa kasamaang palad, sa pagpilit ko abutin, mas lalo siyang naitulak papalayo.

plok!

nalaglag ito sa tubig! nagsimula na talagang bumuhos ang luha ko. kailangan ko iyon at ito'y pinahiram lang sa akin. bakit ngayon pa ito nangyari? napakamalas ko naman talaga.

kahit kadiri ay pinilit ko ang sarili kong lumusong sa tubig na may lumot para kunin ang flash. naka-on pa ito nung ilabas ko mula sa tubig. dali-dali kong pinatay at inilabas ang battery. pinahanginan at tinitigan ng matagal.

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nagising na ako pagkatapos nito mangyari. hindi ko alam kung ano ang ibig nito ipahiwatig pero meron akong naiisip na maaring ibig sabihin nito na may kinalaman sa buhay ko ngayon. tama kaya ako? mensahe kaya ito galing sa Kanya?

friends

Source: http://xkcd.com/513/

Waiting for a Sign

Crossroads again.

...to wait or to totally move on.

...my heart and my head is at constant war with each other. Each tugging at opposite directions.



maybe this is the sign that I needed: (saw this while browsing through FB)
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His Will Isn’t the Point

It is the glory of God to conceal a matter.
Proverbs 25:2

There’s a reason God’s will in specific situations is so difficult to know sometimes. There’s a reason that not everything is black and white. It can be difficult to discern God’s will for a lot of situations.

Who to date.
Where to go to college.
Who to marry.
Where to move.
What job to take.

And it’s not because you’re not praying. You’re probably praying a lot. It’s not because you don’t want to know His will. You probably aren’t lacking that desire.

But according to this verse in Proverbs, it’s because God conceals.

But why? After all, that seems counterintuitive to God’s purposes and using you in them.

The reason isn’t because God doesn’t want you to know His will. He wants you to know it more than you want to know it. God has something so much greater for you instead.

Him.

God’s not up in heaven hiding His will, hoping you’ll never be able to find it. But He does play hide and seek. He doesn’t just want us to find His will, He wants us to find Him in the process. Because if
His will was in plain view, we would seek it instead of seeking Him.

That’s why he conceals it. That’s why it’s so hard.

The point isn’t for God to make His will plain. His will isn’t the main objective. He is the main objective. He wants you to discover Him above all else.

As you run after God and his good, pleasing, and perfect will, remember these two truths:

God isn’t the shortcut to your best life. He is your best life.
God doesn’t want to give you the guide for your life. He wants to be your Guide.

The scariest possibility for your life isn’t getting God’s will wrong. It’s getting God’s will right but barely coming to know God in the process.

You could love the right woman but lose your first love.
You could find the right career but then make it your god.

That’s why He doesn’t just write His will for you in the clouds. At the end of the process, He wants you to know something far greater than what you should do next with your life.

He wants you to know who He is.

*This post was adapted from Hide and Seek, originally posted February 16, 2011.

Source: http://www.stevenfurtick.com/personal-development/his-will-isnt-the-point/

Let Me Love You

I found this note while browsing through Facebook. You can view the actual note here. It is such a timely message at this time when I have just made one of the biggest decisions in my life. I just wanted to share this with you in the hopes that you might find it useful too.

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In one of his books, Cardinal Danielou says that “Love should not be unilateral, but should entail a real reciprocity. Love consists as much in receiving as it does in giving.” I find that a rather perceptive insight, and I think it is borne out by experience. We have been taught from the time that we were little kids that love means giving and sharing. That’s true. We have to share what we have with those we love. And so we teach our children to share their candy with their brothers and sisters. We teach them to be generous with their friends.

But I think that sometimes it is a greater act of love to accept graciously and thankfully when those we love give something to us. We really can’t give anything to God, you know. He is everything and has everything. So how can we love Him? If love consisted only in giving, we wouldn’t be able to love God at all. But we do love Him when we accept what He gives us and say, “Thank you.” One way to love is to give to those we love. But the other, perhaps greater, act of love, is to receive. When we have them both—giving and receiving in love—we have Danielou’s reciprocity, the perfection of love.

In most human relationships, one gives a little more than the other, and one, perhaps, receives a little more. Because of our human nature, our background and our individual needs, there is always that human inequality in giving and receiving love. A perfectly mutual and reciprocal love is a very rare gift. Imagine what love would be like if each both gave and received a hundred percent! But St. Augustine says that kind of perfect love exists only in God, where each Person in the Trinity gives and receives the perfection of love.

It’s much easier for most of us to give love than to receive it. That may sound strange, but I think it is true. When we give love, we are in control. We can pick the person to love, we can decide how to love, how much to love, and when to love. But when we receive love, we are no longer in control. We have to let the other person decide to love or not, or how much to love. All we can do is accept the love that is offered. To a certain extent we are helpless, and that is much, much harder.

Danielou says there is a certain superiority when we love others, and a certain helplessness when others love us. We can choose those we want to love, but we cannot always choose those who love us. I think that is one of the most beautiful things in the world—and also one of the hardest.

I often ask students on retreat whether it is harder to love or to be loved. Most of them answer that it is harder to love, it is harder to give. Maybe that is because they just concentrate on the giving part of love. But some of the more thoughtful students think about if for awhile and then answer that it is much harder to be loved, because it is much harder to receive.

To let another person love you—really love you—is a very hard thing to do. Not to tell him how to love you, or when or where, but just to accept his love in the way he wants to give it. I think that’s why so many of us fight God sometimes. We want Him to love us in our way and not His. We want Him to do this or that for us because He loves us. We can’t sit back and accept His love in the way He wants to give it to us. I think that is why sometimes we fight with those we love, too. We want them to love us in our way, and when they don’t do that, we get angry with them. We can’t understand their love sometimes because it’s not “My Way.”

One of the greatest joys you can give anyone is to show him that you expect something from him, that he has something to contribute to you, to teach and reveal to you, to share with you. “You have something to give to me in love, and I need what you can give to me.” That’s not giving love. That’s accepting love which can, in itself, become the most beautiful surrender of love that exists.

Many people complain that they give so much and they never get anything in return. Part of the reason is, perhaps, that they have never learned how to accept love. One of the lines I remember from a romantic movie many years ago was when the man said to the woman: “Please stop arguing and talking so much. Just let me love you!” I think God says the same thing to us.

#ItsMoreFunWithRice

Day 4 of my no rice diet! hay. ang hirap pala magdiet! saludo ako sa mga nagdidiet! sa buong buhay ko, first time ko pa lang itong gagawin.

Inisip ko nung una, madali lang naman magpapayat. hindi lang ako kumain ng ilang meals, pumapayat na ako agad. pero hindi ko inakala na malaki pala talaga ang epekto ng pagtanda sa metabolism.

lately, puro pakikipagkita sa mga kaibigan ang inaatupag ko at siyempre hindi mawawala ang kainan. Hindi ko inakala na sa halos gabi-gabi kong pagkain sa labas, tataba ako ng sobra.

OO. SOBRA!

Bakit ko nasabi?

Kasi sa 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. Tama, 6! Sa anim kong pantalon pang-opisina, ni isa, wala nang magkasya sa akin. nagulat na lang ako na unti-unti na akong nahihirapang isara ang zipper nila at isa-isa na ring natatanggal ang mga butones! nung isang beses pa nga, bumigay ang aking zipper at basta na lang bumuka! nakakahiya!

Kaya tuloy lagi na ako ngayon nagsusuot ng palda o kaya naman ay bistida. ok naman. girly, ika nga nila. kaso, hindi ko pa rin talaga matanggap na ganun kalaki ang tinaba ko. sa bagay, kung tutuusin yung iba kong pantalon ay gamit ko pa mula nung kolehiyo. panahon na rin siguro na makalakihan sila.

Sana lang kayanin ko. ang dami ko ng iniiwasan! para akong may sakit!

numero uno ang rice o carbs. sabi ng nanay ko pwede raw ako kumain ng isang pirasong tinapay kada araw. isang piraso! nakakaiyak.

Pangalawa kong iniiwasan ang mga inuming may lasa. kung kilala ninyo ako, malamang alam ninyong hindi ako mahilig uminom ng tubig lang dahil wala itong lasa. Siguro kung mabubuhay ako at walang ibang iinumin kung hindi tubig, malamang maaga akong mamatay. kaya kong hindi uminom buong araw kung walang juice o di kaya softdrinks. parusa talaga itong ginagawa ko. ngunit may exception! kung may okasyon tulad ng kaarawan o kahit anong pagdiriwang at inuming may lasa lang ang handa, at saka lang ako pwedeng hindi uminom ng tubig.

Isa pang hindi ko kayang mawala ang mga matatamis. katulad ng karamihan ng mga Pinoy, ako ay may "sweet tooth". Gaya ng pagmamahal ko sa mga inuming may lasa, hindi ko kayang matapos ang isang kainan ng walang nakakain na matamis! kaya lang, sabi nila kailangan ko raw itong bawasan dahil nakakataba talagang tunay ang asukal. :(

At lahat ng ito ay ginagawa ko, dahil kailangan kong magkasya sa aking damit para sa kasal! Sabi nila bakit hindi na lang daw ako bumili ng bago para hindi ako mahirapan. ang sagot ko naman...ang mahal kasi bumili ng bago. Haha! Kaso, mabuti na rin ang magpapayat, mahirap din pala maging mataba. ang hirap kumilos!

Maging successful kaya ang pagpapapayat ko? Abangan.

LSS

with a hangover from last year's addiction to videoke, here are some songs that i've learned in the past couple of days. i've reaffirmed my love for singing over the last few months of the year. maybe i'll pursue a singing career one of these days... :)

The One That Got Away by Katy Perry

A Thousand Years by Christina Perri

Terrified by Katharine McPhee feat. Zachary Levi

oh christmas tree

ang ganda ganda talaga ng white starry christmas tree along adb corner julia vargas. ito ang vision ko of a white christmas. tuwing nakikita ko siya talagang natutulala ako. ang ganda-ganda niya. sana pwede i-take home! :)

feeling the christmas spirit already! :)

there is a God

wherever you are...thank you!

i know you have been listening and answering my prayers one by one. :) thank you for teaching me to be patient and to believe.

D day!

asar na asar ako kapag ginugulat ako. gusto ko kasi lagi akong prepared. pero ibang usapan kapag magsusurprise ako ng ibang tao. aaaaaand, today is THE day!

i can't wait for later! sana matuwa sila. (will post pics after the event)

pulubi or pretending to be one?

halos araw-araw kong nakikita itong pulubi na ito. kilala mo ba siya? (see picture below)

ngayon ko lang siya nakuhanan ng litrato sa magtatatlong taon na nasa ortigas na ako nagtratrabaho. tuwing nakikita ko siya, malinis siya (maitim lang siya pero malinis), bago ang damit, bago din ang bag. hindi ko alam kung may kumukupkop ba sa kanya kapag gabi kaya hindi ko siya nakikitang madumi. o di kaya gimik lang niya talaga na manghingi ng limos pero sa totoo lang kaya naman niyang mabuhay nang hindi nanglilimos.

curious lang ako. minsan kakausapin ko nga siya.

inspirasyon

madalas nase-stress ako sa office. dahil sa pressure na kailangang makabenta at kailangan maayos ang mga problema. kung titingnan mo ang mesa ko, ganito ang itsura niya:

to keep me sane, meron akong mga post it notes with inspirational messages!  tadaaaaaa!

but wait, there's more! 

ikaw? anong itsura ng desk mo? :) 

Sophisticated

Here's excerpts of my YM conversation with clients regarding my new profile pic. Hahaha! I guess I should dress up more often. :)

And here is the picture that's been getting great reviews:

ang taray diba? sabi nga ng ex-officemate ko..."Pak na pak!"

ps...thanks to mikepogi for the profile pic. haha. ikaw na!

gravity

Gravity is working against me
And gravity wants to bring me down

Oh I'll never know what makes this man
With all the love that his heart can stand
Dream of ways to throw it all away

Oh Gravity is working against me
And gravity wants to bring me down

Oh twice as much aint twice as good
And can't sustain like one half could
It's wanting more
That's gonna send me to my knees
(repeat)

Oh gravity, stay the hell away from me
And gravity has taken better men than me (Now how can that be?)

Just keep me where the light is
Just keep me where the light is
Just keep me where the light is
Come on, keep me where the light is
Come on, keep me where the light is
Away from all the dark
Keep me where the light is
Keep me where, keep me where the light is

:(

of closing cycles and moving on

i dub this year...year of closures.

this year, i did not list any specific goals that i wanted to achieve except that i told myself that i want to fix my life...psychological/emotional/mental aspects of it at the least. it was driving me mad and hindering me from moving forward.

it was not planned but i guess the universe has a way of giving you what you want. it may not be during the time that you want it or in the manner that you imagined it to happen. but still, it will.

what started out as a catch-up dinner among friends became one quirky confrontation of sorts. this was with my first suitor. i decided to just avoid him altogether so that i don't have to talk to him and tell him that i'm turning him down. and this dates 11 years back! and now he gets the answers to his questions...talk about facing your fears.

second wave was when i was given a chance to talk with my first ever boyfriend during a recent outing. i guess that relationship set the tone for the next ones. i would say it was kind of traumatic to the point that it forced me to make extreme decisions on my next relationship. it feels great to get things off your chest and to finally accept things which you never thought would happen.

i don't know if i should expect more of these things to happen before the year ends. but in case they do, i would say...bring it on! :)


ps...couldn't start working without writing this. i just needed to get it off my chest.

Gimme some Steve

Lately lagi na naman akong napapaisip tungkol sa buhay. Maganda yun quote ni Steve Jobs na nakuha ko mula sa article ni Boo Chanco sa Philippine Star ngayong araw na it. Sabi dito: 

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the result of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

Yun na.

infected

for somebody selling security solutions, napaka-ironic. ako pa ang na-virus! kung sinuswerte ka nga naman. 2 days na akong walang magawa sa laptop ko! ang masaklap pa diyan, pati yun personal external HD ko nainfect din! kalerkeeeeey!

ang dilemma ko, kung iopen ko yun files ko at magwork then mag-send ako sa mga officemates ko, malamang mainfect din sila. kapag di ko naman ginawa yun, e di ako naman ang lagot dahil wala akong report.

bakit ba ganyan ang life? minsan bulok na lemons ang binibigay. paano mo naman gagawing lemonade?

teardrops on my pillow

favorite expression yan nung ex-officemate kong bading para sabihin na crayola (iiyak = cry) na naman siya. at lately ito ang drama ng buhay ko.

minsan ayoko na mag-isip. dahil sa kakaisip, lalong maraming naiisip. (magulo ba? ok lang yan. ako rin naguguluhan eh.)

sa dinami-dami ng mga depression mode periods ko, ewan ko ba bakit hindi ako magsawa-sawa. lagi na lang akong may maiisip na ikakadepress ko. nasisiraan na talaga yata ako ng bait. siguro nagkapatong-patong lang. hindi na kita ibobother with details dahil baka pati ikaw, maloka rin. pero gusto ko lang ilabas at umasang sa pagsabi kong ito, mabawasan yun bigat na nararamdaman ko.

hinga lang muna.