worst fear

The other day, I was chatting with a friend and it came to a point where I told him that I already wanted to get married because I was scared of not being able to conceive especially because I have a thyroid problem.

The truth was, I was scared. But not because of not being able to have kids. But because I am scared that nobody would want me for me. Silly right?

I'm insecure when it comes to that. Sometimes I feel that I'm a bad person that I won't find a person that will stick with me once he gets to know the real me. I know I shouldn't let my past relationship failures get to me but sometimes I cannot help it.

So now, I'm taking it one step at a time. After all, it has been almost a year since Pitt left and we're still together. Although most of the time I wish he was here, I'm glad I had the chance to be alone and reflect on thoughts that I have been ignoring for so long.

It isn't so bad after all.


  1. I'll stick with you for the rest of my life. And I have always wanted you for you. It's a chubby promise. :) *MWAH*

  2. kalandian niyo! hahahah

    well, just hink how i feel then. NBSB! hahaha. but what i'm learning is i need to really try to see myself objectively sometimes. i know i'm not perfect. i have quirks but i also have personality flaws that i do need to improve, not so that other people will love me, but so i can be a more loving and better person. i suggest you do the same. can't go wrong with that!

  3. @chubby...i love you. :)

    @coppergirl...walang pakialamanan. blog ko to so pwede magPDA. hahaha. yeah yeah. i know. :p

  4. hi cla. isa lang masasabi ko jan. hehe "WAIT." wait ka lang. sabi nga sa bible e there is a time for everything. basta keep praying. God will give u the desires of your heart. =)