this morning i received a text from a friend. it says:
You have searched for true love in your own way. But My ways are not your ways. I want to script a beautiful tale just for you, but first you must trust Me with the pen of this precious area of your life. Will you let Me write your love story? - God, When God Writes Your Love Story
miraculously, i found my answer.
maybe it's time that i don't make myself accountable for everything that is happening to my life. that i should recognize that no matter how hard i try to take control of it, there is another Greater Being that is responsible for everything that has happened and will happen to me.
it is time that i learn to trust in His plans. whether or not i like what is happening now, or whether or not i know the reasons, i should learn to surrender to Him. that even if i feel that i am alone and i've somehow lost one of the most important persons in my life, learn to trust He is still holding my hand and believe that He alone knows what is the best for me, for us.
i pray for the strength and courage to do it.
lolo narding
6 am, umaga ng libing ni lolo narding. ready na ang banda.
nagmistulang flower shop ang bahay sa dami ng mga nagpadala ng bulaklak. sumuko na ang flower shop. dalawa lang kasi. naubos na ang mga bulaklak. hindi pa nila nadadala yun ibang order. 
collage ng mga litrato naming mga kamag-anak habang kapiling pa si lolo.
sa loob ng bahay. dito ako nagbabantay ng ilang oras sa isang araw. bawal daw kasing iwanan ang patay. dapat may isang kamag-anak sa tabi nya sa lahat ng oras kaya may toka kami. halos isang linggo din pala akong lumiban. in fairness, kinaya kong magbiyahe ng martes pabalik ng maynila para pumasok ng miyerkules. tapos magbiyahe ulit ng huwebes para bumalik sa isabela.
habang binubuhat ang kabaong papunta ng sasakyan.
isa pang pamahiin, bago daw dalhin ang kabaong sa simbahan, kailangan magbasak ng palayok na may tubig pagkatapos pumatay ng mag-asawang manok sa pamamagitan ng pagpugot ng ulo nito. hindi ko nga lang naitanong ano ba ang logic dun.
papuntang simbahan, hindi ako naglakad. dala ko yun kotse para sakaling may mahimatay sa paglalakad, ay pwede kong isakay.
habang nasa simbahan, tinawag kami para tumayo sa tabi ng kabaong habang binabasbasan ng pari.
photo-op bago tumuloy sa sementeryo. ito ang pamilya ng tatay ko.
palabas ng simbahan...
kuha ng mga kamag-anak habang naglalakad palabas ng simbahan.
habang hinihintay maisakay ang kabaong
prusisyon palabas ng simbahan
prusisyon palabas ng simbahan
si lola pering
mga kapatid ni daddy at mga pinsan namin
sa sementeryo habang nagsasalita ang kapatid ni lolo na sobrang kamukha niya. akala ko tuloy naresurrect siya. hindi pala.
nakapila ang mga tao para magpaalam
mga pinsang umiiyak.
may banda si lolo. astig!
nung nilagay yun mga "favorite things" ni lolo sa loob, biglang umilaw yun paborito nyang flashlight. nagulat kami. sabi ng isa kong tito, baka gusto daw ni lolo may ilaw kapag tinakpan para di siya matakot sa dilim...
habang tinatapos ang pagsasara sa libingan.
naghihintay kami...
pauwi, isa pang ritwal. kailangan "paliguan" lahat ng taong papasok sa bahay ng namatay ng pinakuluan na dahon ng bayabas na may kalamansi.
kainan na!
mga kapatid ni daddy at mga pinsan namin
sa sementeryo habang nagsasalita ang kapatid ni lolo na sobrang kamukha niya. akala ko tuloy naresurrect siya. hindi pala.
nakapila ang mga tao para magpaalam
mga pinsang umiiyak.
may banda si lolo. astig!
nung nilagay yun mga "favorite things" ni lolo sa loob, biglang umilaw yun paborito nyang flashlight. nagulat kami. sabi ng isa kong tito, baka gusto daw ni lolo may ilaw kapag tinakpan para di siya matakot sa dilim...
habang tinatapos ang pagsasara sa libingan.
naghihintay kami...
pauwi, isa pang ritwal. kailangan "paliguan" lahat ng taong papasok sa bahay ng namatay ng pinakuluan na dahon ng bayabas na may kalamansi.
kainan na!
missing tin
yesterday was the first time i felt that i truly missed tin.
since she and her bf left for BVI (british virgin islands), i never thought that i would miss her with all the available avenues of getting in touch like email, chat, or even sms (although i'm not sure she activated her roaming).
i arrived home at around 11pm and found left-over food in the fridge. if tin was here, she would have prepared something for me. even if it was just an experiemental thing. oh well...
after eating a hearty dinner (i was starving since i wasn't able to eat enough lunch), i found my 2 other sisters rummaging through con's stuff. Stuff is what we call it since we cannot classify if its clothes, beauty care products, accessories, trash or what nots. we, meaning all the girls in the family which accounts for 70% of the household, have been consistently pestering her to find the time to rearrange her stuff. all we get are tons of excuses and grunts.
but last night i found her stuff strewn all over the room. it was a big effort for her to do that. considering that it doesn't bother her that things spill out whenever somebody opens their (because con and kat share the same cabinet) cabinet door.
tin has always been the OC clean and green machine. insisting that we sneak to clean out con's cabinet while she's out. this she did once which very much irritated con. she would have been proud to see that this we have made progress while she's gone. and she would have had fun too while making fun of con trying on her clothes which don't really fit while me and kat scramble to salvage items that we can still use.
i slept at around 1am and they still haven't finished arranging the things. i hope tin gets to read this and have a laugh and know that she is missed. but she probably won't since she hates reading and i don't even know if she knows my blog.
well if you do...hi and i miss you! take care while you're there!
since she and her bf left for BVI (british virgin islands), i never thought that i would miss her with all the available avenues of getting in touch like email, chat, or even sms (although i'm not sure she activated her roaming).
i arrived home at around 11pm and found left-over food in the fridge. if tin was here, she would have prepared something for me. even if it was just an experiemental thing. oh well...
after eating a hearty dinner (i was starving since i wasn't able to eat enough lunch), i found my 2 other sisters rummaging through con's stuff. Stuff is what we call it since we cannot classify if its clothes, beauty care products, accessories, trash or what nots. we, meaning all the girls in the family which accounts for 70% of the household, have been consistently pestering her to find the time to rearrange her stuff. all we get are tons of excuses and grunts.
but last night i found her stuff strewn all over the room. it was a big effort for her to do that. considering that it doesn't bother her that things spill out whenever somebody opens their (because con and kat share the same cabinet) cabinet door.
tin has always been the OC clean and green machine. insisting that we sneak to clean out con's cabinet while she's out. this she did once which very much irritated con. she would have been proud to see that this we have made progress while she's gone. and she would have had fun too while making fun of con trying on her clothes which don't really fit while me and kat scramble to salvage items that we can still use.
i slept at around 1am and they still haven't finished arranging the things. i hope tin gets to read this and have a laugh and know that she is missed. but she probably won't since she hates reading and i don't even know if she knows my blog.
well if you do...hi and i miss you! take care while you're there!
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